(0:00)The Introduction Mess
[Music] unfilter welcome to PF un filtered uh yo yo yo yo yo first uh we'll go around do some introductions before the introductions I want to do some shout outs shout out to Jesus shout out to New Covenant House if you know you know obviously go ahead shout out to Dallas shout out to Texas shout out to the United States where shout out to Nigeria you shout every okay shout out to the world [Music]
(0:50)What's in a Name?
un no more serious no my name is t Mar obviously if you know me call me TX if you're not feeling intimate just call me tday I have my wonderful calls sorry T-Max yeah t-x where did t-x come from I was like I've never said T-Max to you and I'm feeling some kind of way cuz I know you outside of this that actually kind of hurts you because we're supposed to be close that's what I'm saying I feel some kind of way clearly you're not as close as somebody as close as the other person if that's what if that's what your intimate friends call I didn't know that fair enough okay this is my wonderful Co sh alen Taylor and then PF I don't know should we say Pastor Fe me should I say F me whatever man should I say like how do you want to introduce yourself how should I introduce you I I I don't care what do you prefer whatever I really don't have a preference if I say FEI yes Fe is my name that's what my father calls me who calls you outside actually that's a good question outside of church do your friends call you FEI no what do they call you PF actually depends my old friends from school will probably call me either FEI or or Fe or I'm sorry yeah keep it moving or I don't remember but a few people still call me Fe Pastor agu calls me FY my my mentors generally call me FEI my wife calls me Fey when she's upset what does she call you when she's like in love bedroom I was that was tester yeah I know you were tester private okay yeah so you can call me Fe you can call me PF you can call me Pastor Fey anyone's fine with me so is
(2:30)The Cultural Hierarchy Barrier
it an hierarchy thing because I feel like I'm not going to be comfortable and Sh you can test I'm not going to be comfortable calling you FEI that sounds like that sounds like a you problem honestly I think a lot of Nigerians probably would that sounds like their problem because and the reason why I say that is that I have no problems with it so if if you call me FEI it doesn't bother me that's my name right if you call me PF doesn't actually you know what when we started the church I actually introduced myself as Pastor Fe M but you can call me PF because because I was aware of the cultural issues with calling an older person by their first name right so I wanted to give people an option right calling me Pastor Fe I felt would create a bit of a barrier you know between me and folks so I said okay J just call me PF that is easier for folks so PF is easier for you then call me PF okay let's let's let's try and lean into
(3:20)Is the Pastor the Same Off Stage?
that real quick do you feel like there is a difference between you on the pull pit right and then you outside of the pull pit yeah I don't think so I think I have I have tried to maintain to some degree a level of authenticity right you know what you see on stage is what you get that that's just who I am I I talk you know and when I'm passionate you can see that I'm passionate when I'm irritated you can see that I'm irritated when I'm you know when I think something is stupid I I don't hide it even when I'm preaching honest yeah you know what I'm saying I like to think that um I'm the same person on when I'm preaching and when I'm not preaching but the thing is that when you're preaching right you
(4:05)When Authenticity Offends the Church
you for some experiences I've had for example I was pastoring a church and I was telling them that you know the Bible without the spirit is just words it's just letters you know it's just a book and so I threw the Bible on the floor right just to make a point that without the holy spirit this is just nothing oh my God the backlash that I got after the service you know people kept coming to me that is so disrespectful that is so this that is so that that is so this you know I felt like I was in a mus you know but hey it's it's church sometimes you know and that made me realize that you can't always be too authentic right you have to be you have to be aware of everybody's sensibilities you know and sometimes you censor yourself accordingly but I I I forget a lot you know and I just talk and then I have a conversation with Pastor langry or pastor toen about something I said that I shouldn't have said always said cuz we were discussing that actually before we went live you have a pastor on the pool pit and there's this expectation that okay you're I don't want to use the word perfect I think people understand that you're a human being right but there's still this Outlook like okay you're the pastor of a church so you better behave yourself you know like if you use certain words you better use words that are like spiritually inclined but then that takes away from the humanness right I don't know I don't think it takes away
(5:15)Customer Support for God?
from the humanness I think you know you are always going to be human right and as a pastor right your your your Forte your area of expertise is on spiritual matters right and when somebody comes to me they're not coming to ask me for a diagnosis on their you know on their physical health they're coming to ask me about spiritual things right so invariably I can only speak on spiritual things or speak about things from a spiritual perspective you know what I'm saying so when I'm talking to you right it's always at the back of our minds right that this is a conversation with somebody whose expertise in quote is in the spiritual or in scripture so my thinking is that your expectation is that I'm going to address yours issue from a spiritual perspective right I'm going to be talking about whatever challenge you have from what the Bible says and the Bible is not you know some book that applies only to a segment of our lives right or some book that you know some self-help book on on how to be a a a healthier person it applies to the whole of our life so really there's not one area of life where you cannot find scripture to speak to it and when we
(6:25)The Bible as a User Manual
when we go to scripture right the thing I think a lot of people forget with the Bible is that the Bible is is intended to be a manual right created by or given by the Creator to help us understand a ourselves and B the life that we live I mean we have televisions right and you consult the manual right when the television is malfunctioning you troubleshoot it through the manual right and that's what the Bible is right the manual for life and then the pastors on our best days on our good days where customer support really is what we should be you know you've got a problem you your you're having trouble troubleshooting it through the manual and then you call customer support and say Hey you know this thing is not working and customer support will you know most people don't see see it that way I was going to ask like so do you feel like you always have to be a pastor like every time someone comes do you
(7:15)Can a Pastor Actually Have Friends?
feel like you have to wear that hat I feel like that is who I am right it is not just something I do right I can't separate myself from it right the Bible talks about the fivefold ministry there are teachers there evangelists their prophets Apostles and pastors right I think a lot of those Ministries if not all of them are many times born out of who the person is I am a caring person generally it's not about pastoring I care about people if you come to me on even if I wasn't wearing that office I wasn't sitting in that office I would care I would want to see you do better I would want to see you be better right the the thing I I feel the problem is is what people think a pastor is people people think a pastor is this person who you know wears this Perfection who has an answer to every problem who doesn't have a life you know and leaves to answer your phone calls at 3:00 a.m. in the morning you know what I mean yes you know so there's the reality I think I think for most of us and I don't want to speak for people but I think at least for me the reality is I understand that I shouldn't judge you MH by the fact that the the label was a pastor like you were saying like you you care and you're multiple different things but the reality is like there's a subconscious judgment that I place okay this is Pastor FEI right right and that's how I most likely would treat you in that sense so if if something happens you know where let's say you fell short of the moral standard even though we all for short there's that little bit of a harsher reaction because he was the pastor I did it it's inevitable Bible
(9:00)The Weight of Being the 'Set Man'
says to whom much is given much is expected right when you honor somebody which is what happens when you are a pastor the way church is structured now now if you go to the book of Acts it's a different structure but the current structure of church has the pastor as a almost like a center like a hub of a lot of what is going on in church a lot of the stuff in church comes from that person that some people call him the set man so there's a lot of honor and visibility attached to that person and because of the honor yeah people always feel like if I honor you if I venerate you then I have the right to demand more from you you know what I'm saying yeah if you look at the way the church was originally formed in the book of Acts the Bible said everybody Grows by what each joint supplies there was never one person that was venerated over and above the others all of us all of us were on the same level so that the pastor was not the leader it was an office there are seven of us in this little church and you're responsible for calling everybody doesn't make you the head but in the current format of church the pastor is the head right the pastor of the church is the head so invariably yes everybody looks up to him everybody looks I want I say look up to him I'm not saying looking up to him just as a standard but they're physically almost looking up to him even the way the stage is set yes yes you know so they're looking up to him so there there's a psychology to it I guess that people expect more from you but we're still men and we're still subject to the same challenges as every man right and and and it stings you know because people will come to you and tell you hey you know I fell short here and the expectation is that when I come to you with my weakness and challenges I'm going to get Absolution I'm going to get somebody pray for me and you know tell me it's okay and tell me well you shouldn't have done that but you're going to be fine now if a pastor does it remember he's human so chances are he is going to he's subject to the same challenges as you are but then when he falls short that same Grace that we extend that we expect him to extend right right right we feel very comfortable not extending it to him you know and then you start to hear well you know we start throwing words around like accountability right and and I find it really amusing you know because we always want to hold everybody accountable but we want Mercy right so you brought up the point about people coming to you and wanting some for some form of absolution right and I'm thinking you've also been doing this for a long time you started when you were really young I'm kind of curious how was the transition from being regular FEI and now Pastor FEI and just what that looked like even with with your friends and and people was there like an automatic oh now he's a pastor we can't like you know my friends are very irreverent they don't they don't really care the guys I grew up with you know but but the the what what happened with me is that like you said I started really young but then I left my friend group and I got really busy with with work so my day-to-day interactions with them diminished significantly and then
(12:15)The Social Toll of Church Attendance
eventually I went away I left the country on missions so I've never really been around I haven't been around my friends since 1999 so how was even making friends as a pastor friend find like friends friends are people who you know you can just be stupid around so you had no one you could be stupid around absolutely I and look at it like this right and this is where the frustration comes in for pastors you are around church people all the time right you're counseling all the time or you're doing Church admin all the time when there's a social event when a when a church member has a social event they expect the pastor to be there so your work is church but also your social life is wrapped into that as well you know what I'm saying so let me give a classic example it's Friday evening and a member of my congregation's lost his dad so we're doing a service of songs where am I going to be I'm going to be at the service of songs because it's Friday evening is when you do a service of songs now that is when my guys would hang out right cuz Friday evening I know what I'm doing yes but I'm at the service of songs right but it's not you know there's a part of it where you preach but there's also a social part where you're talking to folks and you're eating yeah and then on Saturday morning there's a wedding well maybe not morning Saturday around 11: 12 there's a wedding and then you had the wedding from 11: till 12 for the church part of it and the reception oh there's an expectation you're going to be at reception if you don't show up on the reception who do you think you are you're so disrespectful so you at the reception and who are the people at the reception church people right after the reception you go home cuz you've got service on Sunday got a prep you got a prep so you're not hanging out on Saturday night so Sunday morning you're in church after Sunday morning there's oh after church meetings then a group of folks in church say let's go have lunch so what you find out is that you are always around church people if you have not if you do not have the structure in place so right now we have the structure in place as a church the church has grown we've got staff you know I don't have to do everything anymore we've got a few other pastors so I don't have to be at every event so now I'm in a position to actually have meaningful friendships outside of church people and and please when I say church people I don't mean it in a derogatory way at all you know but the folks who are in church I've got some great friends in church you know sometimes you know God will bless a pastor and there will be people in this church who he can actually be stupid around and they know how to compartmentalize they can be with you when you're being stupid but they can also listen to you when you're preaching and they're rare you know and most pastors don't even want to test it and see if this person will survive you know me being stupid and and all of that sh and I were talking about to a certain extent a pirate to even starting this was it on Thursday Thursday how like okay how is p feeling like what you know with PF on filtered is name of the podcast makes sense if you just look at the words Pastor FEI on filtered which can in with that there's a where you filtered you filtered before you wanted to know how you felt just again I know there's an expectation like you said earlier about speaking spiritually cuz that's the basis but we're trying to like just identify with the with FEI like how does this cuz it sounds like Friday you're busy Saturday you're busy Sunday you see that question assumes that you can't be Fey and be Pastor Fey at the same time okay just some you can be both since we moved to Dallas 2009 right I feel like I have I was intentional right about not living two lives you know what I'm saying so when I am preaching when I'm on the pulpit on the stage preaching I have tried as much as possible to make sure that what you see is feine right and I get a lot of grief for it because I say things like oh I'm not perfect you you know I say things like I've made mistakes in the past right I say things like I've fallen short and the reason why I do that is because I don't want somebody to wake up on there and find one of my mistakes right and then act like oh my God what kind of you know that this guy is such a you know what they will take what people will tolerate from FEI they will not tolerate from Pastor FEI what people would be understanding with Fe they will not be understanding with Pastor Fe so I've tried as much as possible because I know I'm not perfect now come on guys you know I've tried as much as possible to blend the two now the whole purpose of the podcast was when you come to church you have a certain expectation when you tune in to the podcast we told you is unfiltered do you get so I'm not going to your expectation has changed you know what I'm saying so maybe what we'll see in the podcast is more FEI right which is our hope now yeah but I also like the fact that because you know for a lot of people their jobs are just their jobs but you're like pastoring is not what I do it's who I am so I think that that even helps to understand hey this is my person like it's not like I put on this hat when I come on Sunday and I take it off when I leave this is this is literally okay so so I've got a I've got a couple of of friends you know um during the pandemic for example we used to hang out every so can you can you name them or okay okay okay okay sorry I don't want anybody's head to swell all right I don't want any anyway but but but but during the pandemic right you nice to hang out with these guys every every week every week every Sunday thought we were supposed to be you know social distancing about your pod they were my pod that was my pod what if okay you know what let's just let's T that go ahead go ahead so we used to hang out and we kept it small because of you know the virus and all that you know there was more control with your people we got together every Saturday every Sunday in those days we used to shoot service on Saturday and play on it wasn't live so Sunday evenings we would buy a mess of food food you know some beer cocktails whatever and we'll just sit down in in the patio from about 6:00 5:00 until like 6:00 a.m. sorry until like 1: 2 a.m. sometimes right okay and we had a lot of fun I mean it was just an unbelievable outlet for all of us we was just it was just mad but there were days when all we did was talk scripture just it was just a Bible study now it was a fun bible study but in those conversations I would transition from being the one that everybody is yapping and making fun of to the one who is teaching something to the one who is learning something it was such a fluid flow right and there was never a problem there was never a problem you know there was never a a oh now you are PF or now you are feine it was just you know when when the situation demanded it I put on the heart when the situation demanded that I'm the B of the jokes I put the heart down yeah and that that's what I personally struggle with as a individual because so for you you mentioned the the I don't want to say the weight of the role cuz shun said that pretty much summarize pastoring is not what you do is what you are but has there been any from a human standpoint where the weight of this quote unquote cross even though it's who I am is so heavy cuz I think there was one time you're actually vulnerable with the church about how there was an emotional toll during that phase of your life right based on what you were doing at the time for the church yeah but that's okay so so that is why I had to transition out of that setup right where you are Pastor FEI here and then you are Fe here and the two the the Tain cannot don't meet it it it caused for me an almost a nervous breakdown an emotional breakdown and the reason why it was because I just there was just a lack of Integrity in one's life because in this place you're human you're human and human beings make mistakes human beings mess up but this guy there is no room there's no space for Humanity you know and without intending to and maybe I did intend to I allowed myself to be framed as this guy you you know what I'm saying not perfect but a great guy you know and and there was a struggle you know between the realities for me so I I said to myself you know what I can't I can't do this crap I can't I can't do this you know this is who I am and everybody just has to take it or leave it and I sto trying to separate the two okay because it does take an emotional toil because when you're standing here right the fear of people seeing the real you can become overwhelming right you can't make mistakes you can't you know you can't do anything wrong you can't you have to be perfect right and now if you think I am perfect that's a you problem I've been very clear unfiltered I've been yeah it's a you problem cuz I've been very clear I have been very clear that I'm not perfect if God forbid somebody hears that I made a mistake and they want to leave Christianity that's their problem not mine because I have been very clear that I am human right and if you don't want the pastor who's human there are churches everywhere I can send you to five that's interesting you say that though oh yeah I'm very human and so now I'm clear I'm clear I go on the on the ppit you know and I'm very open if I don't say anything about my life on the proit there are other people involved right you know what I'm saying yeah but yeah oh no so so there's still there's still censorship is not a self-censorship but censorship in terms of me worrying about what you think n man but that's amazing because there's freedom in that too like oh absolutely absolutely to be absolutely and the reason I came to that place now I I know some pastors have always been there right but I came to that place after a nervous breakdown after a mental health breakdown you know where the pastor of our church I'm the pastor but my pastor right you know had to send me away for like a month you know that hey leave it go away you know you can't can't you can't function like this that's something that we can touch on right because again I think we understand the importance of of of being authentic but we live in a society where we're all connected there expectations whether as a pastor as a father or whatever right but mental health and the church it seems like it's not something that goes hand in hand because again aesthetically speaking is a problem what do you mean because people can say how come you are with the spirit but they saying that you have nous breakdown how come you f with the spirit and your your leg you you have you know pain in your knee absolutely but people tend to differentiate that well that's on them see one of the things I'm to realiz that people are willfully ignorant yes as in they choose they choose to know something and choose not to know something how can you choose to know that the human body is vulnerable to external pressure so if I'm working 18 hour shifts back to back for 7 Days everybody knows you are going to be physically stressed you're going to be tired natural how do you then choose to ignore the fact that that takes a toll on you mentally when you're having trouble with your siblings right it takes a toll on you I feel like when I came back from that that break I was determined that I would not ever be in that position where I was two different people right that's number one and number two I was very clear with the congregation I had a mental health challenge I don't think less of myself for it the one of the reasons why I think it even got to the point where I had a breakdown was because of this thing you described this trying to present this image of you got it all together you know in those days it was so bad I would I would literally come to church a basket case and if that's a bad word I apologize for whatever it was I think it's better than jackass though jackass basket Cas I don't care you know I would literally come to church a mess and something would happen I would get on the pit and I would preach a sermon for 30 35 minutes twice twice yes oh two Services yes yeah get down from the proit right and go back to being a mess and nobody knew except my wife and she watched me my wife and my kids and they watched me deteriorate they watched me deteriorate but I couldn't take a break because how would I explain the kind of break I needed so I just kept going I just kept going until you know suicidal ideations came into the conversation you know the only reason why I didn't jump or smash into the curb or something I different points in time was because I kept thinking to myself if I die like this my wife and children do not get any insurance money well that is the only thing I was tired I would lay down on on the floor not on the bed on the floor sometimes and I would just say to God just let me sleep I was tired I can't I can't tell you how tired I was I was I had nothing I just wanted to sleep you know and I I just I just wanted to sleep and there was nowhere to go the church did not have anything for me the church was not going to give me any Grace you know they were going to judge me you know I was weak you know what what are you what are you doing what's the big deal you know this is what men do part of the problem was the theology the legalistic theology the uh what do you call that thing the Prosperity Gospel you know for me it was just a perfect storm but I was tired I was exhausted with the weight of life and at some point my wife you know afterwards would tell me a few things that happened and I actually have no memory of those things and eventually you know I remember one day one of there was an incident in church we had a staff issue and one of the the leaders in the church called me to to talk about it but she called me from a very it wasn't it was a very under normal circumstance it would have been a problem you know you have those conversations with different people at different times but it was just the last St that broke camel's back and I just broke down I I literally just cracked and that was when it came out into the open that there was a problem and um my wife of course panicking calls our pastor he sends me away and you know calls the church together the leadership of the church and they take over in fact he he he he suspended me because that was the only way I was going to drop it but when I went to where I was gone for like a month maybe two months six weeks or something I don't remember and all I did in that time I did I I went to corus Christie you guys know corus Christie corus Christi shout out to the folks there but that place is it dead there's nothing happening there it's just it's just you know it's just it's just you know when you come from Dallas or Houston compus Chris yes there's nothing there it's just they have this beach quotation yes yeah for those but it's kind of a golf of Mexico right you can see the golf you yeah but there was nothing for me to do there so all I did was sleep wake up eat I I would wake up around 12 eat go back to sleep wake up eat drink a couple of margaritas go back to sleep rinse and repeat for a month then I started therapy started talking to a counselor and it was such an interesting experience because so I came back to Dallas early I I caught it I caught the my stay short because one of the members of our church who I thought I was close to was having uh a mental health breakdown as well I think she must have been having was some kind of postpartum something you know so I I felt like I had I I had had this experience right and it was okay to say you have an issue you know and to get help she didn't want to get help so my wife thought since I had gotten help that I could maybe convince her to get help oh my God it was a disaster you know she stopped coming to the church because she felt like I was pushing right right I can imagine you know her but I was determined so I came to church when I came back and I told the folks in church we brought mental health practitioners to come and preach in church um and I I told the folks in church what happened to me and that was intentional because one of the things that I figured out was this double life yeah this pastor and this person right was creating a lot of stress for me so I just stopped doing it so since 2019 what you see is what you get I'm just not going to do that that that anymore so the church I think I've run away from the question but the church no no no you're good the thing with the church is that we do not understand and I've been telling everybody this you've paying attention to any of someone I've been preaching lately I've been saying that what we do in church these days is not Christianity it's a version of Judaism it's Judaism light right it's not Christianity it's a gospel of perfection it's a gospel that says that if you are perfect right God will bless you it's ironic because we tell people come as you are right we do this alter calls you know Come As You Are God will take you as you are and as soon as you come as you are on your way out of the door we hand you this long list of things that you have to be perfect in yeah that you have to change for God to bless you it's it's confusing as as a member of the church when some sections of the Bible you know is come as you are other sections of the Bible is you know ask ask whatever it is in my say h it's not just ask you know well two two things number one is bad teaching bad teaching and number two bad followership bad teaching in the sense that a lot of the people in the ppit even the ones who go to Seminary and bible school preach from their experience not from their education they they allow their experience shape their education and this is what I mean so you grew up in a in a religious tradition you go to Bible school when you look at the Bible you look at the education they're giving you through the lenses of that religious tradition so your Bible education doesn't really help you just I got you and then you've got the people who are following who do not read the Bibles so they are dependent on me to tell them what the Bible says when they have the Bible in their hands the Bible is very clear if you would read it there is no contradiction there is no confusion if you read it it is clear yeah the Old Testament most of the Old Testament or all of the Old Testament was written under what the Bible calls the old covenant not all of it most of it right was WR under was written under what the Bible calls the old Covenant from Abraham to Moses was a different dispensation from Moses to Christ was the old Covenant yeah so a lot of what people are teaching as Christianity right is based on God's contract that's what the Covenant is a spiritual contract on God's contract with Moses when Jesus came on the earth while he lived on the earth he walked on the earth he spoke on the earth under the contract of Moses when he died and his blood was shed the contract changed we have not done a good job of making that distinction yeah cuz it's difficult because it's like the Bible is one it's the old and the new New Testament mhm right even though things changed after the Old Testament because it was under a different Covenant things didn't change after the Old Testament things change after Jesus died after after Jesus died right right but it's still the same Bible so to your point it just depends on the cleverness of the individual because if if someone's experiences goes and says not really I don't agree because it's explicit it's explicit yeah if you read everything after Jesus Christ left if you read it not listen listen to Snippets and you know these days with social media we listening to a lot of Snippets if you actually read long yeah if you read it you'll find out that when Jesus died yeah the Bible talks about how the veil that separated men from God has been taken away the Bible talks about how the old Covenant right was obsolete the Bible talks about a new and a living way the Bible talks about old things have passed away behold all things have become new there's so many verses of scripture that indicate to us that it's a different way there are comparisons between the old and the new you know Paul talks about how the law could not make you righteous you could not be justified by The Works of the law so when you read those things do we gloss over it yeah I don't think we gloss over it PF but I think sometimes there is post Christ and there is preist even though we see it as one the way depending on the kind of church you are the way it's either you're preaching pre Christ or you're preaching post Christ see as two different Bible let tell the problems my guy let me tell the problems when you open your Bible why are you opening your Bible when I read my Bible now I it wasn't always like this I read it to a to know God I read it to find God I am no longer reading my Bible to find to get a word for me to go to work with today I am not reading my Bible to look for a word right because when you're looking for a word you're not reading to understand you're reading for a message when I say message I don't mean a sermon you're reading for a message from God for you the problem with that is this yeah God can speak to you through one line of scripture so God can take a line out of Hannah Hannah was didn't have a child goes to the temple she looks like she's drunk and then she has a child and then God promises a child and she will have a son God can you can read the story of Anna and God can take that line by this time next year you will have a son and speak that to you but you don't understand the story of Anna you don't understand what happened I agree juste yeah I understand what you're saying so a lot of the times that's why we read the Bible we're looking for a message we're not looking to understand so there a lot of people who have received Revelation who have received messages but do not know Christ you can hear me doesn't mean you know me does that make sense that makes sense and that is a lot of what happens right and I'm talking about the people who are genuine Christians some folks are just looking for principles and seven steps to to making money getting married making progress I mean it is it is a lucrative nonprofit so if you but if you open the Bible and you read it to you know what I want to know this God that they've been telling me about I want to know this Christ I want to see him it's a different Bain most people sorry sorry I was going to say like like it's very it's so the reason and we talked about bad followership right no one's like really checking I think it just speaks to like it's it's not easy right just the same way you build a relationship with a person it takes actual work it doesn't just happen you have to be intentional about it and I think sometimes people are like I don't want to do this work so therefore I'm going to open it let the word speak to me and I love how you explained it like you're reading for something you just want to get something but your intention is not actually to get to know Jesus it's not to get to know God you're just like I just need my quick fix day I just message to to to to to move my week along and I'm just sitting here thinking like oh so why are you reading what is your intention when you open the Bible and are you actually willing to do the work because he he's there he's always available but are you willing to get to know him the same way you put in effort with getting to know your spouse your friends like are you actually willing to get to know him yeah when you talk about effort and work I I I struggle with that because we put in the effort and the work right to open the Bible to search through the lines yeah because because we're sitting with it yeah but the eyes with which we are looking at it yeah it it's just a mindset it's literally a a a mindset change it is not more work than we already do a lot of us do a lot of spiritual gymnastics where you know we jump through a lot of spiritual Hoops because we think that that will please God so I'm saying keep doing what you're doing but do it with a different mindset a lot of us grow up on quiet time still do quiet time still do devotionals yeah absolutely but do it with a different mindset instead of opening that devotional now looking for that quick fix for the day looking for that you know that word to deal with my mother-in-law right yeah there's a place for that don't get me wrong but that can't be the only thing reason why you open the Bible when you open the Bible you know what I want to know Jesus I just want to know him so you're reading what is this saying about Christ what is this saying about about about God what is this saying about the Trinity what is this saying about the Holy Spirit one of the things that we we we we do is we extract you know we're like strip miners we go to a verse of scripture and we're trying to extract what we call Value from the scripture but the whole thing is valuable the whole thing is valuable the whole thing reveals Christ all of it the Old Testament reveals Christ yeah but when we come with that mentality of you know that's where Bible Bingo is relevant Bible Bingo is you close the Bible open your eyes put your finger on something and you read it that is what the vast majority of us do in some shape or form we're looking for that one thing that is like a like a a fortune cookie I'm not saying read your Bible less I'm saying read your Bible in a different way I agree do you get my point and this is this is this is the challenge that I think we we have and this is where I blame the leadership when we preach a gospel that is all about what you can get from God I will approach the things of God from what can I get from him and that is the problem when God has been reduced to a vending machine a butler a maid who's who exists solely to give you is y'all be on the lookout for more episodes we're going to be doing this often [Music] follow filter [Music]