(0:00)The Danger of Saving Out of Fear
The truth is this, nobody guarantees you tomorrow. You can save every single penny you have and die in the middle of your savings. So then what happens to the money? And in that time that you are saving, you have not lived. And if you have not lived, you have not impacted anybody. You can't impact people when your eyes are focused totally on the future. The Old Testament is a revelation of Christ, a revelation of the inability of humanity to please God, and a revelation of how vengeful God can be. unfiltered. Hello and welcome to another episode of PF Unfiltered. My name is Tundday Maron Jola. Guess who's
(0:43)Back Like Never Left (Intro)
back? Back again. Guess who's back? You want to introduce yourself? Hey guys, I'm back like I never left. She never left. She never left for one day only. One more. My name is Sean Allen Taylor and it's amazing to be back. Yeah. Yeah. And and uh my name is Fei or I am back. You never left. Yeah. You always here. But I like that song back. I think maybe we should do like an intro every time I'm going to preach just I mean there might be some um rebuttals about the orig of the song it not being spirit see let me tell you without him was anything made that was made thank you Jesus wisdom wisdom thank you Jesus although although we shouldn't apply that to some kind of music shu let's leave that topic for now okay okay I get it I get it how am I feeling I'm pretty good had a great weekend it was my birthday. Happy birthday. Happy belated birthday. Happy happy birthday. Thank you. Oh, like what? 40 43 40 44. Um, I'd like to believe that, but I am 56. Um, you'll look it though. Thank you. Thank you. I feel it. Well, no one knows I the looks. Yeah, it was it was really good. I think I think I I'll I'll say this. This is um this scores on the on the top in the top three birthdays I've ever had. Oh, that's awesome. Mh. Yeah. And and the
(2:15)Why Communion Changed My Birthday
reason why is really weird. And I know it's going to sound really, you know, I mean, it's what you expect from a pastor, but if you know me, you know that's not how I am. So, we started taking communion every day. Um, we used to do it just 5 days, you know, Monday doing during the week during the work week, right? And then we won't take communion on weekends except once a month in church on Sundays. But then we started taking communion every day, right? And the first weekend that we took communion fell on my birthday, right? So I woke up on Saturday morning, right, and took communion on my birthday. Your birthday, it was it was it was I was childishly excited, you know, and I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm you guys know me. I'm not um those kinds of things don't I don't see patterns. I don't those kind of patterns. Yeah. But I for some reason I was just excited that I was staying in communion on my birthday. So that was good. It was a really good day. Yeah. Yeah. Was there justification? Yeah. Some of the um folks in leadership like our producer, they showed up to to the house. We love it. Producers and uh it's not too late to give PF a birthday gift. It's not too late. Um just saying we're not we're not Yeah. Yes. If you want to, I guess, but you know, I will continue with past. No, no worries. No worries. I I know we had promised um the viewers and the listeners that we're going to do a follow on to the love episode, but because you guys had great questions in the Q&A and PF never all the promises he makes, he always keeps them. Tries to keep them. Tries to keep them. Most of the promises he makes. Some of the promises he makes. I think I'm doing like 40% now. Okay. 40% of the promises he makes, he wants. And this is one This is fall 40%. So, we're going to try and cover. I think I'm doing better than 40%. I think I'm at like 75%. Okay. The remaining 25% I probably never meant to keep them in the first place. 75% of the promises PF makes, he tries to keep on good days. On on his on good days. Anyway, long story short, if you want to find out um um if we truly love God, um please tune in for next week. But we're going to close out the Q&A and PF. Before I pass it off to Shane to start with the questions, we're going to pay some some bills real quick. Um, majority of this season's episodes has been sponsored by Barrow Avenue Bakery. Yes, shout out to Bar Avenue Bakery. Shout out to Bar. But I want to say that if you're out there and you're like, man, I want to sponsor. These guys are doing a great job, you know, I want to pay the host. I want to convince you, I want to stay, please. Uh, is expensive. Yeah. Demands more money. Extremely. But she just told us managers are just really good, guys. Just really good. She just told us now. Um, T-Max says she should project. She says exactly. This is the voice we pay for. Exactly. So, if we want her to project you to pay her more, so please. Right. Uh, and and if sponsorship is not your thing and you're like looking at us and saying I could I want to support the podcast, right? In the in some shape or form, whether it's hosting or, you know, productions. I'm sorry. Um, hosting. Hosting. Yeah. Like facilitators, right? Really? Yeah. If they want to like say, "Okay, what is doing?" Is that part of the sponsorship package package? I mean if they want to join our team and like they say you know want to whatever capacity whatever things we're open. I was not aware. Yeah. Yeah. But cuz it's not like the final the final going to go a producer of this show. Right. We're not trying to bore you with like I'm just the talent. He doesn't know details. I'm not hired. You're just the one. You're the guy, you know. I got you. I got you. Yeah. You're you're African Neo. I'm sorry. What does that even mean? African Neo. Matrix. Matrix. 2001. I know now. It's a good movie. How old were you when Matrix was? Um, I was like 14, 15. I'm like two. I was 15. You know, I told you I'm 40. Yeah. I'm 42 years old. I know. I look young, but guys, come on. 42. Yeah. Anyway, now Yeah. I mean, 42. I mean, aging work quite well. Would you would you say if you're 42 then 23? be like 78. Okay, we're going to go into We're going to dive into it. Yeah. And we're going to get started. Um, so this question
(6:38)Where Should A Beginner Start Reading?
says, "For someone who is studying the Bible for the first time, where would you recommend that they start? Like what book would you recommend they start with?" I would say start in Genesis, right? Read Genesis and then jump to the Gospels, right? Oh, okay. Yeah. So just Genesis and then go to the gospel and then work your way. Okay. So so the Genesis is where everything starts, right? And for me the most important part of Genesis is the creation story and the fall of man's part of Genesis. Okay. Right. And then the choosing of Abraham, right? To um to begin the process of redemption, right? And everything between Genesis and the gospels are really just describing or first of all describing the human condition fallen sinful right um and different ways and different interactions of God with sinful and fallen people right and the summary of it is man is fallen man is going to mess up and God is going to punish him right but in all of those stories is there's a prophecy about Christ. So you can sit down with the prophecies, you can sit down reading the stories of God's judgment, which is a lot of what you see in the Old Testament. Absolutely. Or you can just go over to the solution, right? The problem, the um manifestations of the problem or the solution, right? So if you're starting for the first time, um go to the solution, right? And then I think that will help you. Right? Um, Christ is the is the center of Christianity. I feel like when people read the Old Testament, many times they get bogged down in it and they forget that this is a journey, right? It is not the destination. The Old Testament is
(8:37)Don't Be An Old Testament Christian
not the destination. The Old Testament is a revelation of Christ, a revelation of the inability of humanity to please God, and a revelation of how vengeful God can be. Right? That's what the Old Testament is. But people sit down and take the Old Testament and make it into what it is not. Right? We try to live our lives according to the Old Testament. We try to um be Old Testament Christians, you know, and the result is a a a monster, right? That does not um that does not portray Christ, you know. So I am I'm wary of people reading the Old Testament unsupervised, you know. Fair kind of. I like it direct, straight to the point. You want to go next? Yeah. Okay.
(9:30)Balancing Vacation vs Investment
Um, how do I balance the need to satisfy my spouse's wants in the present without jeopardizing prep preparing adequately for our future? Example, vacations versus investment for retirement, etc., et, etc. Balance. Balance, right? Everything in life is is is balance. We get into trouble when we go out of balance. So, people get into trouble because they lean so heavily on the savings part and people get in trouble because they lean so heavily on the spending part. Right? If you can find a middle ground, which usually is us making sure that the spouse who needs to have vacations is happy, right? And the spouse who needs to have investments is happy, right? Both of us will not be 100% happy. Yeah. But we will be happy in the sense that my wife is happy, my husband is happy. That makes any sense. Yeah. Right. The key is balance. I I can't um I can't tell you that there is something wrong with wanting to have investments. Neither can I tell you that there's something wrong with wanting to live, right? People tend to think that there is a virtue in inherent in saving, right? And then that there is uh what what's the word? There's folly inherent in trying to live. But the truth is this. Nobody guarantees you tomorrow. You can save every single penny you have and die in the middle of your savings and die. No. Seriously. So, so then what happens to the money? Yeah. Right. And in that time that you are saving, you have not lived. And if you have not lived, you have not impacted anybody. You can't impact people when your eyes are focused totally on the future. You have to be present in the now to impact people. You have to be present in the now to engage with people. Right? If you're so preoccupied with the future, I doubt if you will have the presence of mind to be present in life. If that makes any sense. But then you cannot be so present in life, right? That you then um forget that there's tomorrow. And if God is merciful to you, then you want to make sure that you are in a position to not be a burden to those who love you and to your community. Right? So the idea is balance. If you make a $100, you spend uh $50 to $75, you save $25 to $50. It depends on the individual. But I have lived a life where I was so focused on the future that I thought everything that I was not enjoying, I will get to enjoy it in the future. But the truth is, you will not step into the same wave twice. Right? What you miss today, you are not getting it tomorrow. opportunities to live that you have bypassed because you want to save for the future, you'll never get them again. So, you may get some money
(12:30)The 'Carry It To Heaven' Myth
in the future, but you will not have the opportunity of youth again. You know, if you don't travel when you're young, when you're old, where you going? Like, like for real, like where you going? Going to the kitchen right now. Yeah, that's it. You don't have the you know we have this eh let's save now or or let's enjoy now it's you have to have balance right and I think that's how I would say to this person what is the balance there's no virtue inherent in any position both of them are virtuous right both of them can also be problematic yeah awesome does that make sense that makes sense to me it does it does I know that for for a while I I just struggle with like not spending cuz I'm so like conscious of like oh you know and one of my friends I remember in dental school she'll be like she don't spend your money now you're not you cannot carry it to heaven like spend it now and for me though it was tied more so to a fear of like wanting to be sure that I'll be okay and I think when I realized that you know your source is God and he's the one that provides then it kind of frees you to then be like actually I'm okay and like while obviously I wouldn't be reckless but it's still like yeah it's okay to
(13:50)Living By Faith, Not By Anxiety
spend now. Yeah, I I I agree. Fear is we when we live out of fear, nothing good comes out of it, right? If you save out of fear, it's a problem. And if you're living excessively out of fear, it's also a problem. If you're so afraid of dying, you want to cram all your whole lifetime into one day, right? It's a problem. The Bible says that without faith, it is impossible to please God. We have to do everything that we do from a perspective of faith, not from a perspective of fear. We shouldn't save money because we're afraid of tomorrow. Right? And we shouldn't spend it all because we're afraid of dying. Right? We should do whatever it is we do from a place of faith. Faith that you know what, God is going to preserve me. God is going to keep me till tomorrow. And when he does, I will have something to to to to you know, to look after myself, right? And you know what? God is going to take care of tomorrow. So, I'm not going to miss living life today. Yeah. I mean, I'm not I'm again, y'all don't take me seriously. This is just my my words, but man, I've I've partied. I've enjoy I've enjoyed myself. So, like I I I I get what you're saying. I'm not saying that you should just enjoy yourself all the time. Like you said, it's a balance. Yeah. I'm so sorry.
(15:05)Why Seasons of Life Matter
People who don't live when they should live. The Bible says that a righteous man shall be like a tree planted by rivers of water and will bear fruit in due season. There's a season, right, to live. Mhm. When when you're single, for example, no children, right? That is the that is your season to to live, to enjoy yourself, to travel, right? When you have kids, getting on a plane will scare you cuz your child can scream Yeah. throughout the flight, right? And the anxiety of the discomfort your child will experience makes the idea of flying pro you know you don't want you know once kids come into the picture a lot of a lot of things change. Mhm. Right. But if you don't save when kids come into the picture then you see problems. So balance. Yeah. All right. So, the next question says, "I've struggled with this for a while, and sometimes I feel like it affects my ability to connect with God. Are all non-Christians really going to hell? It just feels unjust." How is it unjust? Like, I guess unjust. It feels unjust. Okay. I get I get I get the sentiment, right? And I think it's a consequence of not fully understanding right what is going on. All of us understand right that there are consequences to the choices we make. And when we came into this world for the vast majority of us we didn't really have a choice. In fact I think all of us the only person that had a choice as to his status because of his sin was Adam. Right? Adam chose to sin and his choice was passed down to us because the Bible says we were in his loin so to speak, right? We didn't get a choice. God said to Adam, um, two trees in the garden, one is good to eat, the tree of life. If you eat it, you're good. This other tree, the knowledge of good and evil, leave it alone. If you eat it, you will die. Adam chose to eat the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and the consequence of it is what we live. Right? Then 2025, what does what happened in the Garden of Eden have to do with with me? God gives you a choice. Choose Christ, the tree of life, right, the fruit of the cross. Yeah. or choose your knowledge, right, of what is good or what is evil. Choose. And many people choose their intellect, right? They choose the fruit of their intellect. They choose the fruit of their um analytical abilities, right? Or some people will choose from the same tree of life. Yeah. And then consequences follow. God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that every human being may once again have a choice. So is it unjust for people to pay the price for their choices? I don't think so. What would be unjust is never giving them that choice. And God gave us gives us a choice. So on on Sunday, next Sunday we celebrate that choice, right? We celebrate that we got that choice. And that is what the cross is. The cross is another manifestation of the tree of life, right? And every day we choose which one we're going to eat from. Yeah. I find it interesting though because the person said they feel like it's unjust, right? So I wonder if PF if that some of those feelings might be alleviated if the person also considers that biblically speaking there are not everyone that calls Jesus Lord Lord Lord you know what I mean would be invited to his kingdom some will even heal in his name and chase out demons in his name but they would not necessarily be called his so of those that are non-Christians that even again lip service Christians that also might absolutely so absolutely I agree with you but at the root of that feeling And again, you know, this is my new favorite thing to say. At the root of the feeling is what you're thinking, right? And if your thinking is based off of faulty information, flawed knowledge, then your feeling, as real as it may be, would be wrong. Right? Um there's when Job was going through his problems and his friends were postulating all sorts of things, God said, "Who is this that darkens counsel without knowledge?" Right? There's a lot of counsel that has no basis in knowledge and those things influence the way that we feel cuz we adopt them. Right? When you say that human beings are inherently good, right? That's that is error. Not true. Yeah. So untrue. We are the most capable creatures on this planet of doing the worst things under the right circumstances. Fantastic people. Put them in a in in a cage with no food. They will eat their neighbor. Just Yeah. Human beings are are we're special. I don't understand how God loves us. Yeah, I said that's why I guess they said what is man that thou art mindful of him or the son of man that thou would consider him because he could see the condition of our our condition right so the person who asked that question I wonder what you think about yourself like are you thinking that you are inherently good right and that Christianity is just a lifestyle or a lifeline right if you're thinking of yourself as inherently good or you're thinking of yourself as being a good person outside of Christ then maybe that is why you're struggling, right, with other good people being punished. Yeah. Let me tell you something, my guy or my sister. Your heart is deceitful, wicked, beyond belief. Who can know it? When God looks at you, if he does not see Christ, all he sees is filth. And on a good day when you think you're good, God says that righteousness that you are so enamored and impressed with. It's like a filthy rag in front of him. Without Christ, we cannot have any interaction with God. None. Because he's of purer eyes than to behold iniquity. David said, "I was conceived in sin." Right. That even my my my my I was I was born into it. I was born in it. I was immersed in it. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. No, it's good. I mean, it kind of ties into your next question. I do want to say though that I'm proud of myself cuz PF used the word enamored and I understood. Oh, the word post was too late and I understood. I hope I hope you got it. Um I think I'm going to start trying to find simple simple words. Well, you can just do the word of the day. Okay. Cuz every time you come in here, you drop things that I have to question. I'll have to look it up and be like I think I think I I think the problem is that you guys first of all your education the educational system right is so shallow right you guys don't do any of that different shallow shallow you guys didn't you guys don't read the classics right you didn't read Homer you didn't read Ulysis you didn't read the Odyssey you didn't read um um and Juliet you read some you read some Shakespare you read like three Shakespeare some Shakespearean some Shakespearean you know language Shakespare and Shakespeare was not exactly you know the most erodit of writers. He was just a let's not but anyway um and and and feel free if this question is too loaded cuz I I think it is. Mhm. But it's kind of around what you said about good and morality. Like I have to sneeze. Sorry Sean. I heard this question on the podcast and would love to hear your perspective. If I'm curious if it's our podcast or a different podcast, is it possible to have morality? So in quotation um in in parenthesis it says to be a morally upright person without Christ. Morality is cultural. Okay? In every culture what is moral? Changes. Changes. Okay? Right? Christ is beyond culture. Right? Christ is beyond culture. So Christ does not make us moral. He makes us righteous. Right. The issue is right standing with God. One of the things that people forget is that depending on where you are, certain things are moral or immoral. Right? When I was growing up in school um in in in university, being with a woman, right, in a sexual relationship was considered immoral at our age, right? So people who were sleeping with each other, they hid it, right? Women were not going out bragging about who they were sleeping with. Nobody was talking about body counts. Even the guys too, you know, kept that gist quiet, right? But then you come to a different community and a different time and as long as it's consensual, it is not immoral. You understand what I'm saying? Right. Then you move into the church, right? And the church in some ways starts to adopt some of the standards of the community it's in. If you go to the church in in in the church that I that I came from in the early days, you could not hug a sister, right? All this one that were giving hugs, side hugs, front hugs, giving people kiss on the cheek, you know, was considered highly immoral. Now shoot, brother and sister will sit down. You can't even find space between the two of them and there's nothing going on between them, right? They're hugging, they kissing, nothing, right? So, what is morality? Yeah, it's it's it changes. It changes. Um, capitalism, is it moral or immoral? Right? Communism, is it moral or immoral? Different people would have different arguments to it. But the word of God, right? Its goal is not to make you moral. Its goal is to make you righteous. Right? If you are moral in Nigeria, you may be immoral in America. And if you're moral in America, you may be very immoral in [Music] in the word of God is universally right. And its goal is not to produce a moral person. Its goal is to produce somebody who is in right standing with God. And being moral doesn't put you in right standing with God. Let me just let's just get that right. Being moral does not put you in right standing with God. Yeah. In in um in in Florida, they've got a law called stand your ground, right? Which means that if somebody comes into your house, you can shoot and kill the person. Is that moral or immoral? Is that moral? In Florida apparently it's moral in Florida. Yeah. In Texas maybe not so much. So in Texas in Texas I think it is but in England right or in France you kill somebody for you know you feel ambiguously threatened they'll put you in prison and throw the key away. Right. So again, morality is not a word I'm a fan of. So if what would be the substitute then? Righteous. Righteousness. Righteousness. Yeah. Are you in right standing with God? If you're in right standing with God, doesn't matter where you are. Whether you're in Florida or in Nikki. Whether you are in Cal or you are in um downtown Sulle. Whether you are in Monaco or you are in Boise, Idaho. Yes. Well, if you're right standing with God, you're right standing with God. But what is perceived as moral in Boise can be very immoral in Iguardo, right? And what is perceived as moral ino can be very immoral in Sa Paulo, Brazil. So yeah. Okay. My next question is um I'm a young relatively successful Christian. How can I Sorry. Sorry. I know. I know. Sorry. Sorry. Go on. Go on. I'm not going to finish. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You just want to enter that. Sorry. Go. Go. Um how can I strengthen my relationship with God in the midst of so many distractions? It's good. First of all, that you would describe yourself as a young successful Christian. Got me. You already have a big problem because I think you're already comparing yourself with other people, right? And success is not that you have acquired a bunch of material stuff. Success is that you're doing what God has called you to do, right? You're fulfilling the purpose for which you were created, for which you existed. If you want to um deepen your relationship with God, remove your eyes. And I'm not saying that's where your eyes are, but remove your eyes from your material success, right? And ask yourself, how successful are you in fulfilling God's purpose for your life? How determined are you to find God's purpose for your life? I believe that for me, what drew me to this point was a desire to to fulfill purpose, to do the will of God for my life, right? to find it and to do it. And you can't find God's will far from God. It's hard. Just that desire to know will always bring you to where he is. Right? Will always bring you to the places where they talking about him. Will bring you to the places where they are learning about him. Right? For me, that I think was the most um important catalyst, right, in my relationship with God. I just wanted to know what his plan was for my life cuz I had none of my own, right? And I had lived enough in college. I had done quite a few of the things that people are just trying to do in college. And I had become very jaded and tired of it. Right? I'd partied enough. I had drank enough. I had smoked enough. I'd been in enough relationships. Right? And I used to feel that if this was all there is to my life, then it would be a total waste of it. M right and some people are still you know they still trying to do what at the age of 40 and 38 they're still trying to do what 16 and 17 year old boys are giving up and and for me that is a that is a is is is um is a tragedy when you see a 40year-old a 35 year old man pursuing the things that a 16 17 18 year old boy is already tired of right and I'm like a fool at 40 is indeed a fool forever, you know. Um how the question was reminising like where do we like why? So this was just asking how do I um strengthen? Yes. The relatively successful young relative successful how do I strengthen? Yes. And I'm not trying to you know um um um this your success or anything but but ask yourself success. Yes. your relative success which can be very relative. Um but but on a serious note ask yourself what is God's will for your life? Seriously I think the pursuit of that will draw you closer to God. Yeah. All right. Well, uncle keep on keeping on keep on trucking. Uh people say we should allow men to lead but a lot of men don't even know the destination or at least have a goal in life. What should we women do? Just go with the flow that could lead to our demands. Is is this dramatic you're reading this question? That's how it was playing in my head. First of all, why why are you with a man who doesn't have a girl? First of all, right, why did you attach yourself, right, to a man who does not have a goal? That's a good question. To a man who does not know where he is going. That is an indictment on you, right? Because you you you you you got on a bus, right, without asking where the bus was going. Then you want to throw tantrums on the bus. I don't know where the bus is going. No, you should not have gotten on that bus in the first place. Yes. Yes. One chance. You get what you get, right? Sounds like PF. She led with I'm assuming people say we should allow men to lead. So maybe she was told you have to get on this bus. She should have asked where is this bus going? But that societal pressure of you have to get on this bus. So you let that you have to get on a bus, not on a bus. On a bus. A bus. Yes, I agree. You should get on a bus. The Bible says um you know two are better than one. If one is cold, the other one will keep the other one warm. Absolutely. You should get on a bus if God blesses you with that opportunity. Right. But you should not get on just any bus. The fact that you are getting on just any bus is an indictment on on you on your judgment. So when you now start saying they say that men should lead, we should allow men lead, right? I don't think that if you marry somebody who before you marry them right you are asking okay boss conductor where's the boss going on right just if you if you're asking instead you're asking that okay is the key on the bus is it leather or is it pleather that's probably what the question you know you're looking for soft life then you now get on the bus does he have AC are the windows tintedly how high is the ceiling of the bus yeah the sun roof they play. They play. They play because you get on the bus, right? And and the conductor is like, "You know what? This bus, we're going around and around in circles." But but you know what? Nice leather seats. Nice leather seats. Air conditioning cuz the last bus she was on there was not. But then the conductor also says that while we're going around the circles, everybody must stand up. Nobody sits on the leather seat cuz that's how the conductor likes it. Or the conductor says, "You know what? Everybody must dance to Fuji music. That's how the conductor likes it. You understand what I'm saying? Yeah, I get you. You submit to the conductor now because the conductor is the conductor, right? However, if you check where's the bus going, who is the conductor of this bus? How sincere is this conductor? How committed is this conductor to getting to this destination? Right? Is there a road map? Yeah. Even if the conductor doesn't know, is the conductor, you know, searching. Is he conducting? Is he interesting? Is he interested? Yeah. Is he? You come in, you see the guy smoking and his leg is on the stair and you're like, I like this guy. He's just just easy. He's chilling, you know. He has an aura, you know. Yeah. You know, vibe. It's just a vibe, you know. And and you know, and the pictures, man. You guys, man, fire goals. They play. They play. I like that. Let me tell you, right? If you marry a man and this is a woman who has no sense of where he is going, right? But is committed to finding it, you'll be fine. Ultimately, if you marry a man who has no sense of where he's going, is committed to finding it, and is dedicated dedicated, right, to making you happy. Yeah, you'll be fine. Okay. What if you're already in it, PF, and you're like, "This person, I don't I feel like they don't have a clear sense." You made a mistake on the choice. Initially, you want to cause you got on the wrong bus. Yeah. I got on the wrong ads you man the same thing that you do when you enter one chance now you start to pray you start to pray you don't jump out the window moving jump it's not for my man that you that your teacher could jump it's not me that to jump to pray no seriously you have to start to pray you already start to pray right but then you know I think it's harder it's much harder when you're inside it right and And it's hard to submit normally for a woman. It's the exact opposite of of of of our our natural instinct for survival, right? Basically, you're you're handing over to someone else your ability to survive for on a very animal level, so to speak, right? Your instinct is self-preservation. Handing over your self-preservation or your preservation to the hands of somebody is tough. You have to trust the person, right? You have to trust that the person has your well-being as a priority as their priority, right? And I don't know how you can how you can attach yourself to somebody, right, who you have no confidence in their commitment to your preservation. How do you outsource a job? your number one job to somebody who you do not you never check their resume as it pertains to preserving your life, right? That that's problematic, right? So why are you how did you get into this relationship, right? You you you attach yourself to a guy who from day one has always been about himself, right? Cool guy, nice guy, but only to the extent that it works for his Right. Right. I think to what you the point you made too was pivotal, right? About and I think it ties to to question you asked maybe there were distractions like the leather seats, the air conditioning that threw her off from the main from destinations. Destination. Yeah. And even even apart from even that the person that wants to enter bus, where are you two going? What is your own destination? Right? Because you know can two work together except they're in agreement. If you don't have a destination, it's easy to attach yourself to somebody. Two of you are going nowhere. So you both enter, you're going around and around in circle, right? And then somebody discovers a destination halfway and oh wrong bus. Nah, man. You're on the bus. You're on the bus. Eventually if you pray God can be merciful and give the conductor have a chance to I don't know about well I'm just trying to think of ways she can escape escape escape is not the story of course I apologize it's going to require a lot of prayer it's going to require a lot of of prayer because you know I feel like God is very big on choices right particularly in some things and And I don't think he hides allows things to be hidden from us. Particularly when it comes to people we marry. I think we all see and ignore some things. Ignore, right? Yeah. And then when he bites us, we're like, I didn't know. You may not have known the exact details. But you had an idea of the kind of person this person is, right? there were certain scenarios and and and then maybe you chose to marry them in two weeks which they will not give you time to see them in certain scenarios. So on that real this is not part of the questions but what's the ideal time for someone that is trying to cuz you said two weeks is not enough. So what would you say like oh no you can marry them in two days s it's okay know this as you make your bed you lie it's I can't tell you what's ideal time you should if you spend enough time right and people know things right about other people intuitively right you can meet somebody and you spend five minutes with them and you know they good this a good person it's a good person baby that was you I saw you the first 5 minutes and I was like that's a good person. Yeah, you can you can tell some people are really good people but good people do stupidish. That's not you, baby. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Good people have bad habits. Yeah. Doesn't mean they're not good people. Good people do not good people things sometimes. I've done sometimes. Yeah. You know, so I would say to people if you found somebody you want to spend the rest of your life with, it is better to know as much about them as possible. Sometimes you don't have that luxury, right? Sometimes circumstances, life puts you on a time crunch, right? But our faith is in God, right? And ultimately he will bring us into the promised land. The wilderness may be longer. Yeah. I mean below us. Yeah. Well done. Well done. I wanted but he's not giving me. No, I'm not. Sorry. I'm not. Yeah. Okay. So, the next question is, your church is a clear evidence of your fruitfulness as a pastor. Amen. What are some words of wisdom you can give an emerging leader in their ministry? I complimented you. I like that car, you know. I don't know what to say about that. Like, how do I respect that for me? I think help me in ministry, right? Number one, knowing that [Music] everything, okay, let me be honest. M be faithful to loving people. That's it. And when I say loving people, I don't mean loving them, you are praying for them, right? That's part of it. But be love them practically. I think that's the one thing that God helped me, right? Um I I for my own um selfish reasons right at the time I really loved on people you know practically not just prayer and all that I really really labored on people it wasn't for the right motivation right but I realized that even though I did it for the wrong reasons yeah God took it and used it for good right so if I'm going to give anybody advice I'd They love the people that God has brought to you. They're not going to be perfect people. Some of them are going to despitefully use you. Some of them are going to treat you like crap. Some of them are going to talk nonsense about you. But you cannot let that fear stop you from loving the people that God has called you to. Now, will that turn your church or your ministry into something big or it will be something small? I think you're going to have to reconcile yourself that you will be what God wants you to be big or small. And to that question, I actually have a followup. So he he says your church is a clear evidence of fruitfulness as a pastor. I guess my question is then how do you like what what would you consider a fruitful church? For me, a fruitful church would be a church where the people a are growing in their faith, right? And one thing that I'll tell you about growth, spiritual growth, spiritual growth is not the the amassing of knowledge, right? Spiritual growth is the way that you respond to life. Maturity is seen in your responses, particularly to adversity, right? Maturity is seen in the extent to which you have become or you are becoming like Christ. Yeah. So for me I would say that one is fruitful if you can point to growth in the congregation. If you can point to the image of Christ being formed in the members of the congregation. Um yeah so if anybody would call me a fruitful pastor I would expect that the person has looked at some of the folks that I pastor and said you know I knew these guys at a certain point and I know them now and I can see growth in their lives. I knew these guys at a certain point and looking at them now I can see Christ has been formed or he's been formed in them. Right? If you look at me as a fruitful pastor because of the size of the congregation then you do yourself a disservice. Right? Because I have done nothing to I there's nothing I can tell you. Um everything I did in Dallas, I do in I did in Dallas, I did in St. Louis. And the church in St. Louis never really grew beyond maybe 125 people, right? And the church in Dallas is close to 2,000 people, right? Same thing, same person. A few things are different, but fundamentally, right? So, it is not it is not I I don't know how to explain it. In Dallas, this is the call. This is the work in Dallas, right? God determines the work. Yeah. And I've leed that if if God had given me only 150 people or 25 people or 30 people, I should be content with it. And it's hard. It's hard. It's hard because again, you know, we look at success relative to others. We determine success, sorry, based on the world standard. I know this my answer has been all over the place, but try and distill it into um love. Yeah, just love people. Right. Right. It's a great answer. Yeah. I appreciate the the compliment, too. I mean, the fact that people are people that are trying to be leaders in whatever industry they're in are saying that I I I'm concerned about it. Oh, wait. Yeah. I'm concerned about it because I was the of the motive of No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm concerned about it because of the metric being used. What they're using as a which is why I said like what would you then say is Yeah. Yeah. That's why I I I wasn't in a hurry to embrace it. Okay. Okay. Because if if you say men pf the folks in your church man I saw some of those guys 10 years ago they were vagabonds now those guys are men of God I'll say to God be the glory but I will feel like I have done something. Yeah I'm saying no because I was one of those folks a few years ago when I at your church I was a vagab born. Yeah but now I'm a meaborn. I like that. I like that. Nice one. Nice one. Yes. Yes. Yes. See, I'm a fruitful pastor. He was a vagabond. Now he's what did you call this? A mega bond. Jesus is Lord. All right. So, I mean, I think we can do one more show. Um, but real quick, just want to say thank you to the listeners, to the to the people that are watching. If you're like, "Uh-uh, I can watch." Yes, you can. We have YouTube, uh, Spotify. Spotify. Can you watch on Spotify? You can watch on Spotify. I didn't even know that. That's next level. and all the other socials as well. Again, shout out to those that are trying to sponsor. Reach out to us. We will let you know how you can uh pay for this hard work that we are doing that you know God because they can't afford me. So if you want them to afford me. So are you saying that Esther is cheap? I didn't say nothing like that. Esther, I love you. Esther, if you're watching, if you're watching, she said, she said, she said you're cheap. I did not say anything like that. I just said I got a good manager. Okay. Man, that was that was some serious [ __ ] Just like that. Like and it was very cleverly just put it. I was actually going to ask this question that this last question that was actually pro pro women. So to do extra like that. Wow. It's the way you guys have turned. Um how do I feel like I know PF is going to answer this? I'm for the ladies today. So I'm going to go. Um, women are always told to correct the way they carry themselves as a child of God. What can men when can men also be held accountable and stop focusing on how women on how many women they can collect? Huh? I'm so confused. I I promise you that's that's how the question. I'm assuming they're This person is trying to say why the double standard standard. Yeah. Okay. So I I'm not sure what you mean by double standards. I don't know any pastor that encourages men to correct women in that sense. Maybe not the second part. Maybe the first part of like women are always told to correct the way they carry themselves as child. I think people are told to correct the way they carry themselves as children of God. Right? I don't make it a habit of telling you to correct yourself, right? I make it a habit of telling you to connect with the Holy Spirit and then the Holy Spirit will help you, you know, focus on what you need to focus on, right? We give you the strength to deal with what you need to deal with, right? There's a religious mentality that assigns um tasks to individuals, right? And say, "Okay, women, you have to dress like this. You have to dress like that. Men, you have to um um you have to have purpose and you have to lead and all of that stuff." And when you hear that, you can start to think, okay, well, it's a little double standardish, right? We're not telling the guys how to what to wear, right? But we're telling the women what to wear. We're not telling the guys not to laugh too loud, but we're telling the women to be dee, right? It can start to look double standardish, but you have to ask yourself, right, the environment that you are in affects that, right? I don't think you'd come to New Covenant House and hear a single sermon about how you dressed, right? Because I feel like the way you are dressed is a consequence of the way that you are inside. And if you are right inside, right, and you are being led by the Holy Spirit, I don't need to talk about what you wear, right? I don't need to I don't I don't need to talk what you were. What did our producer say? Said Jesus. You said Jesus. Yes. Sorry, I heard that. And and and and you know in a church church is mixed multitude, right? Right. Yeah. So it's you will see the people who are dressed inappropriately. They're usually the loudest people in the group, right? And you can fixate on that or you can see the people who used to dress inappropriately but don't dress inappropriately anymore. You can fix it on the guys who are still carrying collecting women like um ties, right? But then there also guys who used to do that but don't do that anymore, right? What what what are you what are you looking at? What are you doing? Why are you there? Where are you? Right. Yeah. Yeah. The guys that used to be vagabons, but now they are Mega Bons, right? Yeah. Yeah. No. And and to to close, um, there was some one a lady did ask me that question of how she said she felt so um self-conscious at church just because of the way she was saying is the way she was dressing. Was it too provocative or was it I think if you're asking that question, you already know the answer to it. Right. Right. And but but this is not really I guess our old deal was like but like guys are not really told what you're dressed. Do do have you ever heard any woman have you heard a woman say that that guy is dressed provocatively? Never heard in my life. I've never heard it. I mean she does it happen cuz I never heard maybe not in church. I was just going to say that I think even coming to church the option to dress proactively I don't I don't know that is is there for guys like you're going to wear a shirt like you're going to wear pants like right and and and this is what I think. I think I think I think the the the nature of the dynamic, right, puts unfortunately a lot more of the burden on on women in terms of appearance, right? Guys, if a guy walked into a church, right, wearing tight pants, first of all, his pants can never be too short. He's wearing shorts. Okay, there's no mini pants, right? It's crazy. If his pants are too tight, I've never seen a woman say, "Man, that guy's pants are too tight. What? He's trying to scatter my head." It's more like, "Look at that clown." You know what I'm saying? It becomes rather than being sexual, it becomes comedic, right? You know what I'm saying? So, me honestly, I think talking about those things are a misdirection. I think we should talk about your heart and making room for the Holy Spirit, making room for Christ and being conformed to the image of Christ. When you're be when you're when you're focusing on being conformed to the image of Christ, your your standard is no longer what is acceptable, right? Your standard then becomes what will not allow my brother to stumble or my sister to stumble, right? So the guys who flirt, right, just for fun, for banters, right, they know that you're going to cause problems. So you stop that thing. And the girls who dress, you know, hot, wake up, ah, fire. They stop that because they know they're going to cause problems for somebody, right? Right. The Bible says, don't let your meat cause another person to sin. That's that for me, that's my standard in my life. Right. If I look around me and there's nobody there that could possibly stumble, I have a lot more room for how I for what I do. But when I look around me and I see people who could misinterpret, misunderstand me, right, and get into trouble cuz their own faith is not where my faith is, then I I restrict myself, right? And I don't feel any sense of any burden, right? like, "Oh, being a pastor is not fair." You know, everybody's Yeah. Well, yes. PF, uh, as always, we appreciate you. Thank you. Show up once in a while, but we appreciate you, too. Thank you. Thank you. PF from Future Family is always great, uh, to to have you guys and we appreciate you, our host. Thank you. That's the first original meabond. Thank you. Previously a vagabond, now a mega mega bond. Thank you so much. That should be your catch first. Yeah, I know right. Previously a vagabond. Now meab. No, just previously vagabond. No, no, I was never vagabond since 197. Yeah, I was never you know vagabond. I don't I learned in this episode that uh to connect not correct and to be righteous and not moral. Got that. And I learned that love is what draws people um more than anything. If I am lifted up, I will draw men unto me. And who am I? I am love. Right. All right. Thank you guys. We'll see you next week. Bye. See you at Easter. Esther unfiltered. [Music]